How to Build a Better Billboard. . . and Why

NYC's Times Square will soon see its first eco-friendly billboard powered entirely by 16 wind turbines and 64 solar panels. According to The New York Times:

"By generating its own electricity — enough to light six homes for a year — the sign could save as much as $12,000 to $15,000 per month, according to Ricoh, which estimated that the sign would prevent 18 tons of carbon from being spewed into the air yearly."

Those billboards use 12-15 THOUSAND dollars worth of electricity per MONTH!??

I've got an idea for an even better billboard: none! STOP BUILDING BILLBOARDS! I'm sick of being nagged from every direction to recycle my fucking trash, to turn off the kitchen light when I'm not in the room, and to install eco-friendly lightbulbs that have a warm up period before they give off full light, when FUCKERS LIKE THESE ARE COLLECTIVELY WASTING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF ELECTRICITY EACH MONTH to sell shit that NO ONE NEEDS! Shit whose manufacture is an EVEN GREATER fucking waste of energy!!

FUCK YOU, CORPORATE AMERICA! Stop blaming it on the masses. YOU are the ones destroying this planet, YOU waste our energy on pathetic ad wars for products that no one needs, YOU rape the resources of every country on this planet that doesn't have the power to keep you out, YOU fucking over-package ALL the goods I buy, which means YOU fucking generate all the waste I HAVE TO RECYCLE. YOU, Mister Rich Shareholder, IT IS YOU.

You are a death profiteer, the apocalypse come in suit and tie. And you spread your industrial capitalist meme everywhere you go like some cat dragging its shit-covered butt across the floor.

Go ahead, think about it. Tell yourself the world is overpopulated anyway, that this is survival of the fittest, that your actions are some sort of Malthusian population check on every species including your own. You ARE human, right? Better yet, don't think about it at all. Just think about yourself. Just shake my hand and kill me some more. Then tell the New York Times it was MY fault because I didn't go "green" enough, you PR-loving pieces of shit.

Buying Obama

It's no secret that presidential campaigns have long been colossal marketing events. While this year's election will go down in history for the obvious reasons, there may be another reason to note this election in our schoolbooks: the Obama campaign stepped it up a few notches and offered the American public a slick and integrated brand that walked the hip path beaten not by previous candidates, but by companies like Apple computer. From the logo to the slogans to complete font control, the Obama campaign was a graphic designer's wet dream.

The keystone in the marketing campaign was a cleverly simple logo: You know how "they" say a picture is worth a thousand words? Here Obama, the sun, brings the promise of a new tomorrow to America: change. And everything that word might stand for in this fucked up country. This one image succinctly symbolizes the ideology of his entire campaign. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that Obama himself is an ideology, not a person.

So we bought it. Now we hope the product inside is halfway as remarkable as the packaging was. Either way, if the only choice was him or McCain, then good on us. But I saw some other brands on the shelf, albeit over there on that aisle where the light's burned out, on a dusty cracked shelf near the floor. It makes me ill that change, Obama's main talking point, would be much better served under the presidency of one of the many third party candidates who have agendas that differ wildly from the main two parties. I believe many of the Americans who voted for Obama want to see actual, major change. I believe they essentially wanted a third party candidate, but they won't be getting one. They're going to get the democratic party line: a slightly kinder business as usual.

The Big Parent Syndrome (BPS)

(this is a modified version of a comment in response to this post by Intransitivus)

The job of the government is to conduct the policy, actions, and affairs of a people. Essentially, government is the big parent. When the big parent fails, the children must take their lives into their own hands.

In some cases, the big parent fails to provide access to medications necessary to improve a poor quality of life (For more information on this, see FDA/Pharmas: Conspiracy to Keep us Addicted, Not Cure Us by Intransitivus on nowpublic.com). Many will suffer rather than self-medicate, but those who are able to obtain necessary medications via alternate means should do so not with guilt, but be secure in the knowledge that their ability to govern themselves is superior to that of the big parent.

Yes parents, sometimes the child DOES know what's best for them.

The big parent wants you to feel like a guilty junkie even if you are a responsible adult who chooses to self-medicate responsibly. They instill this mindset in us from birth with their drug war, their commercials, their regulations, etc. The guilt trip is just one of many methods of psychological control.

Free your mind from the shackles of the big parent, the ultimate serial bully, in whatever ways you can. Its interests are rarely your own and as such it has always been a great disappointment to its children. It's well past time for the children to grow up and take care of themselves.

How Effexor Touches Lives

In doing research for the previous post, I came across a particularly tragic story. The poster was a young woman whose husband lost all sense of reality and committed suicide several weeks after starting Effexor. He was only 23 years old at the time and in addition to his wife he left behind two small children. He had never been treated for a mental illness and there was no family history of mental illness or suicide.

I contacted her, both to share Jace's story and to find out if her family had received any legal justice. This was her reply:

" It is an extremely difficult thing to do - which is to literally watch a loved one self-destruct before your eyes and everyone else that loves and cares for them so very much with very little you can do for them.

Pharmeceutical companies are extremely wealthy and are very experienced with dragging out litigations and law suits in attempts to emotionally drain those family members tying to seek justice and in most cases surviving family members simply give up after a few years years because it is just so painful to constantly have to relive such painful times and not be able to grieve in peace.

If I am being honest, I am involved in a pending lawsuit but I do not get caught up in the process. Taking legal action for issues such as these, unfortunately they average anywhere from 5-15 years before any settlement agreement is ever reached - which is yet another reason so many give up and choose to not go this route. Even in cases as severe as ours, when such a healthy young husband, father, son is lost due to such negligence on the pharmacuetical company's part-- it bears NO "priority" in settling, they do not care that the wife and children left behind lose their homes because they can no longer afford to survive on a single income. They do not care that you can not even afford to have your loved one buried. They do not care that the surviving family members will require YEARS of counseling due to a completely avoidable tragedy. They simply DO NOT CARE. They instead will spend millions TO avoid paying any compensation to anyone and everyone even when they are deemed at fault. (I guess they would rather pay attorneys than to do the right thing and compensate the ones with the real losses.) I have had to force myself to follow this thing at a distance and I had to not allow myself to get too caught up in it because I have to stay mentally well to continue to take care of our two children as they became my main focus.

I am sorry that I do not have better news or information to report, as you can tell the lawsuit beat us up pretty bad during the first year so in order for me to stay focused on our children I had to back off.

I will keep your email information handy should any miracle occur and the drug company find any sort of "soul" about the torture they have put our family through due to negligence on their part in studies, informing patients of all possible side effects, etc. It is so sad because it was extremely preventable and so many people on a regular basis continue to have to deal with the very sad situation.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope your friend, and also his loved ones who remain concerned for him, are able to help him find peace again as I am sure he is so tired of feeling the way that he does. Be persistent and never give up - they do not realize sometimes how unwell the medication has really caused them to be. According to my research, doctors claim that the neurological damages caused from side effects from these medications could possibly require a lifetime of medication to offset the chemical imbalances it creates in the brain.

Stay strong and make sure your friend knows that he is not alone, which I am sure you all do on a regular basis. Good luck."

Effexor Experiences

Here are some words from Effexor users describing their experiences with the "antidepressant" found on message boards such as pandamedicine.com, the effexor activist's message board, and topix.com.

“I complained to my doctor the first day I took Effexor and was told "you either want to get better or you don't" so I continued to take the drug. I had had depression before in my life but I had never attempted to kill myself until after starting Effexor. I tried to kill myself 3 times because I didn't know who I was anymore and thought I was going crazy. I developed a seizure disorder and they never connected it to the Effexor but I haven't had a seizure in months and I have been off of it for several months now. I still don't feel like myself and I don't know how to make it better. Withdrawl was pure physical hell for about 6 to 8 weeks and I still think I am going through some withdrawl symptoms. I had my doctor tell a while back that maybe I should go on a small dose and try to wean off again and I said NO WAY. When I would tell them I felt more depressed they just kept doubling my dosage. It caused me to have rage, anger, so many things that I had never felt or said before. I have lost everything and am still floundering trying to get my life back or some form of it. I have contacted a lawyer to try and pursue this but thought I would provide you with a quick overview”

“My brothers case is truly tragic. In the 4 month period he was presribed 300mg he became extremely manic. He went into an unprecedented spending frenzy that left him in debt for over $900,000. He is now facing bankruptcy and the loss of his 16 year old fine carpentry business.”

"One day I'm okay, the next I'm planning out my suicide. Today is one of those days, just wrote yet another letter to my family explaining why I have to end my life. I have two small children who I love with all of my heart, but I am in such mental anguish that life is just not worth living anymore. Also, I've become so irritable that I think that I would be doing them a favor in the end. I fear that my brain is permanently damaged.”

"“Ive had all the horrible experiences with effexor, and I was never warned by anyone about how screwed up the side effects of this drug are. Thank God my issues haven't been as serious as the ones I've read about on this board. I suffered from the crazy dreams, inability to wake up, brain shocks, dulled sex drive/function, and a complete lack of concentration. "

“I am on effexor (150) and just tryed to kill myself. I need help, becuase my doc. said that it was becuase of my drug. I am so sacred of my pill and I am getting off, but should I file a lawsuit? Am I justfided at doing this, I can hardly afford the hospital bill as I am only 15 and my parents want me to pay for it what should I do?”

“I TOOK MYSELF OFF EFFEXOR XR ALL AT ONCE. I COULD NOT SLEEP WHILE I WAS TAKING THIS DRUG. ALSO, MY LIVER ENZYMES LEVEL WENT BACK TO NORMAL AFTER TAKING MYSELF OFF THIS DRUG. I FEEL ALOT BETTER NOW. I CAN ACTUALLY SLEEP . ALTHOUGH I DID HAVE AWHILE THERE WHERE IT WAS HARD , I DONE IT. I DON\'T WALK AROUND FEELING DRUGGED UP ALL THE TIME. I BASICALLY HAD NO EMOTIONS WHILE ON THIS DRUG, GOOD OR BAD. IT WAS LIKE I WASN\'T EVEN MYSELF. I HAD TO WORRY FOR AWHILE THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY LIVER. THAT IN ITSELF WAS VERY SCARY.”

“I have been on it for at least five years, at this point I know most the symtoms that all of you have mentioned and effexor is dangerous to come off of, I have attempted several times to get off of Effexor and it is not pretty. The side effects that I have while I am on it are just as bad. I would not care if you caught my hair on fire, I dont care about too much. I now have RLS, I can not sleep, some kind of seizures or shaking (not to be confused with brain shivers during withdrawl) if I do sleep, night sweats, leg aches and weight gain are some of the few. I could come up with more but my memory is not as sharp as it was in the past. I have told and asked doctors about this, they act as if I was making this up in the early stages of my encounter with this drug. I guess now they are some what saying that there is a problem. I have gone from 225mg down to 75mg a day over a long time and I still have a way to go, God bless you all.”

“i have been on effexor 150mgs,for over 5 months now. i am currently tapering down,with the help of my dr,even though she was mad that i wanted off of it.it ruined me.turned me into somebody i never was.i quit my job of 4 1/2 years,and went crazy on a shopping spree,bouncing checks,and losing my checking account that i had for 4 years.i now have all of this to pay off,no job.my credit is trashed.i have never done anything illegal in my life,until this damn rat poisoning got into my brain. Tricia”

“I have been on it for a year, I am comming off it now and am in living hell. While on it I bounced checks, ran up credit cards, just didn't care. It was like it created a monster. I couldn't figure out why it made me do this. I was always responsible before. So, now I have to try to peice my life back together and over come the withdrawl."

"My husband lost all senses of reality after only taking this medication after THREE WEEKS which led to suicide. There is no history of mental illness or suicide in his family and has never been treated for any type of mental illnesses. There were no listed side effects with the medication when he started taking it other than possible nightmares. He was only 23 yrs old and left behind a wife and two small children who will not give up until justice is done.”

"I too just shoved my problems in the closet, I've had to learn all over how to deal with my emotions. I was on Effexor for five years...
But I feel great now that I'm off of it! I'm healthier, happier, and more vibrant.
I really feel that this medication robbed me of four years of my life...and I have whole sections of my memory that are missing. My hands trembled, I had chest pains, lost most of my coordination, and forgot entire conversations while taking this medication.
I am so relieved to be free from it.”

“a psychiatric nurse practitioner handed out a 75 mg prescription for effexor to my boyfriend after talking to him for less than 20 minutes. He was doing well on risperidone for an undiagnosed schizoeffective dissorder. He had no complaints, but he trusted the nurse and began taking it. after less than a week the panic attacks, night terrors and feelings of "being posessed" were unbearable. He contacted the nurse practitioner and she told him to just stop taking it and he would be fine by the end of the day. two days later he slit his wrists."

“only took it a short while but the nightmares it gave me caused me to go off it after only a month or two”

“this drug should not be prescribed as it can be lethal and dangerous-My wife Has spent the last 2 years literaly bedridden- From this evil drug-“

“I was told over & over & over again that there was no withdrawal with EFFEXOR. I almost went to jail 2 times, thought of suicide, homicide and lost my relationship with my daughter for a few years over these side effects and withdrawals. I was a horrible mess and I get nauseous at the thoughts of what was and what could have been had I listened to the DR'S & pharmacists.”

“I started at 75 and went to 150 then last april my mom died in a car accident and the docs answer was "up your effexor" to 225. i started having facial swelling and hives and it would come and go. then i started having "blow your brain out" middle of the night 2 a.m headaches that would wake me from a sound sleep and i thought my brain would burst out my eyes. it felt just like someone was squeezing my brain, i could hardly walk, i had slurred speech, could half see and facial numbness. i would make it downstairs get a cup of tea with my husbands help and sit up the rest of the night scared as hell to go back to sleep for fear of dying in my sleep.”

"This is is day 8 of my going off of this drug, called Effexor ( Please Google "Effexor withdrawal". Wish I had before ever taking a single capsule).
After a week, I thought things were improving immensely. My"Brain zaps" seem to have been decreasing in frequency. Those are freaky. Like electrical shocks in your head! And you hear them. Like synapses misfiring. Remember the movie "altered States"? Really reminiscent of those morphing moments. Sure, I was still dizzy, light-headed, short-term-memory for s**t, blood-pressure 149/100, pulse 90 at rest, feel like bugs crawling all over my skin, eyeballs hurt, diarrhea, and my dick completely disappeared!
Also, autonomic stuff, like swallowing, has become a problem. If I'm prostrate in bed i start choking on my own saliva because that flap that sends food to one place and air to your lungs doesn't close when it should! And my speech comes haltingly. Not good for a professional announcer.
Night terrors in the last week are like nothing I have ever thought possible. Violent, ultra-disturbing dreams, usually involving animals and mutilation and unspeakable hereto for unthinkable thoughts of purest horror. Never ..."

“Effexor XR is the most one of the most dangerous drugs out there. The withdrawl is horrifying. Now my husband is going through withdrawl and his anger is intolerable. This could break up our marriage. All I can do for him is read what others have to say on the iternet. Let's get Wyeth to come clean!!!”"

“I too am a victim of this horrible drug--a so-called 'medicine' which was passed by the FDA for public consumption on the strength of (count 'em) 2 clinical trials. Both were only short-term (3 months) and involved between 2-5000 people. It took me 3 tries to get off effexor and many horrible symptoms. Before I took effexor I was a healthy man who seldom saw a doctor. Since, I am almost constantly sick with something or other. My health hasn't been the same. "

“Wyeth has insidiously turned trusting consumers seeking relief from depression into drug addicts that are forced to take their product. Personally I worry more about having enough Effexor than about having enough to eat. Oh, and I am back to taking the Effexor XR. I found myself at work crying because I felt so bad and one of the MD's I work with told me to restart it...”

“I doubt one single person on this whole earth would have ever put one single pill in there mouth if they had been told about the withdrawel effects. Don't give up..it will end..sometime...WITHOUT suicide so don't give up...fight it out, fight it hard...you have it in you. Just take every SECOND at a time, not every minute, every second and you'll get through it...you'll come out on the other end...we all can't give up..we have to get through this to stop the drug companies that made this and knowingly never took it off the market even after they knew what was happening. 2 days ago, I wouldn't have been able to offer any support..but now almost into my 14th day..I'm hurting bad emotionally, but nothing compared to where I was at 40 hours ago... I'm getting better...some people have gotten better faster then me, some longer, but I keep reading of people getting better.”

“..all suicide thoughts are now gone, my head feels completely clear of the chaos and the anger is gone. I'm on Celexa now for depression, which has taken awhile to "kick in" but today I feel way less depressed, but no less ready to fight against this drug company.”

Fuck This Country: Police Don't Protect or Serve

VictoryGrey, like most people, has to go to work in the morning. It IS morning already. In Philadelphia, there are RIOTS. Yes, RIOTS.

Why? Governmental election? No.
The Phucking Phillies won A BASEBALL GAME.

Anti-society, hear VictoryGrey cry out at the horror surrounding her at home (a person I worry for and care about):

(in comments on her own story)

"my nerves are shot. there are several helicopters flying around the area and i'm pretty sure i just heard someone's property being destroyed outside. wtf is wrong with people? :( 12:12 and all mayhem continues unabated."
12:12 AM, October 30, 2008

Then:

"helicopters still buzz overhead. police response summed up in this article:

"Right now, we're just going to let themselves tire themselves out," said Tanya Little, a police spokeswoman."

"while they're still tiring themselves out by shouting their way down my street, i wonder, how do i get tired out?"
1:11 AM, October 30, 2008

[My emphasis used above]

VictoryGrey needs sleep to function. Like me. Like Jace. Like YOU.

THIS is law and order? THIS is humanity?

THAT was a "POLICE SPOKESWOMAN??"

NOT "Serving" or "Protecting" as the slogan used to be, but sitting along on the sidelines doing nothing because it's easier than DOING THEIR FUCKING JOBS.

Oh you huddled masses of creatures called human beings... learn your lesson well:

Non-Americans:
DON'T MOVE HERE. I want to move the fuck out.
This country is anarchy and a 1984-like, media-controlled, reality-twisting, history revisioning dictatorship. As Jace said: THIS IS THE DYSTOPIA.

Our law officials do NOTHING to quell the madness of the group mind (the unintelligentsia group mind, I add). Our law officials do NOTHING for the homeless OR the innocents huddling in their homes afraid of having rioters injure them, destroy their property, or kill them... all over A MOTHERFUCKING SPORTS GAME.

Step aside "nationalism."
Step aside "god."
Here comes the thing Amerikans TRULY worship:

"SPORTS"

FUCK THIS COUNTRY.
FUCK THIS COUNTRY.
FUCK THIS COUNTRY.

if you don't fall for love, then fall for hate

i logged onto facebook this evening, made a couple of clicks and was greeted by this ad:


you've probably seen this style of ad before. to get your attention, they appeal to your innate human desire to be liked by leading you to falsely believe someone has a crush on you. shitty? yes. antagonizing? yes.

now they've upped the provocation. as you can see (if you look closely. . .), the companies behind this banner want to you believe the internet is teeming with people itching to proclaim their hate for you via some new, cruel social networking option.

what's important? your mental health or selling their valuable service?

and just what IS the service they're so aggressively tricking you into visiting? i clicked the banner ad, watched the domain name cycle through a dozen or so rapid changes in the browser's status bar (yeah, that's not sketchy), and the final destination was this:

http://purecrushcalculator.com/cx/index.php?pubid=15087-

from their site:

"Nextel and Boost customers will receive semi-weekly love prediction horoscopes at $5.99/week. Verizon Wireless, ATT, Sprint, Alltel, Cellular South, US Cellular, East Kentucky Network, Rural Cellular Corp, nTelos & Virgin Mobile customers will receive this service billed at $9.99/month. Cricket customers will be billed $6.99/month for this service."

that's right. mobile love horoscopes. the company would probably argue that they provide entertainment, but it's hard to believe the economy is so bad now that people need to be viciously enticed into entertainment purchases.

there's nothing about this that doesn't disgust me. of course, the effort to control mind-space in advertising is not new. it defines the profession. this ad is just more overt about it.

if the thought of someone being tricked by this ad disgusts you too, i'd like you to hold onto that feeling and revisit it whenever you see any ad. ask yourself how the companies responsible are trying to control your mind, whether they're successful, and most importantly, ask yourself whether it's RIGHT.

Managed Heath Care and Sleep: Unmanaged, Not Care

(Cross posted to NowPublic)
[UPDATED: Oct 21, See Below]

If anyone's been really, actually, paying attention, Jace several times sought a medication named "Xyrem" and was denied it by the manufacturer and an organization named NORD. (please, type Xyrem or NORD into the search box up there in the top left corner)

He needed it because it is the only currently known substance that will provide relief for the CAUSES of insomnia, narcolepsy, and several other PHYSICAL and NEUROLOGICAL maladies of the brain's very structure. Xyrem, also known as "Sodium Oxybate" and GHB (gamma hydroxybutyrate). It is ridiculously regulated by the FDA in the USA. In fact, it is easy to make and is illegal to do so in the USA ONLY. The excuse is that it has been abused too much. MY suggestion is that it eats into the profits of the pharmaceutical companies that have tons of Ambiens and Lunestas to sell to hospitals. The drugs that corporations hand out like candy to hospitals in "Behavioral Health" wards when sufferers get put "into the system." Why solve the problem at its source? The Lunestas and Ambiens would no longer be entrenched into the system and their sellers/manufacturers would not be able to continue profiting from proliferating these socially-worsened conditions (the meds themselves worsen the conditions and cause addiction and sometimes death when, in desperation, an insomniac overdoses).

No one EVER was caught influencing the FDA, right??

The REAL malady is not "lack of sleep" or "daytime sleepiness." It is "Poor Quality of Sleep." Poor sleep quality is caused by the brain's inability to accomplish the deep sleep stages of sleep known as delta-wave sleep, or stage three and four in the "typical" sleep progression - this is when the brain is the least active and ready for restoration and repair.

By the way: There's a good book called "The Psychiatry of Sleep" that will educate you (and your ignorant doctors) about the most current knowledge of sleep (2006? - way more up to date than your doctor who graduated... when?).

Important Note: There are many instances of disinformation about which stages of sleep provide the most rest for the human mind, specifically pharmaceutical corporations advertizing in magazines and television, trying to sell hypnotic agents like Lunesta, Ambien, and others, declaring that REM sleep is the most restorative. THIS IS AN OUTRIGHT UNTRUTH. As always, don't believe it because you saw it on TV. I've seen it. I wanted to put my head through the CRT.

The origin of delta-wave sleep loss comes from several related, comorbid or independent sources. I suffer several of them (why do you think I'm writing this at the time when most people sleep?). Jace suffered several: Autism, PTSD, nightmares, anxiety, medication mixture complications (being "put" on inappropriate meds), misdiagnoses and more extensive details I wont expound on; the information is out there: do the research. Or, just read VictoryGrey's article titled "Excessive Sleepiness."

Managed heath care is not health care. It isn't managed. They manage YOU as they see fit and as best befits their stock holders and "the bottom line." It has nothing to do with "heath" or "care" as the good doctors and the sufferers will tell you. It's corporate ignorance and greed. The people running the organizations are not doctors nor competent in pharmacological chemistry. They pay "doctors" and "nurse practitioners" to write documentation for their own benefits. The benefit is: doing everything they can to NOT provide a human being with the means to heal. In other words, LIFE SUSTAINING MEDICATION IS REFUSED and in place of the "right stuff for the right job," they will proffer up chemistry mixtures that will WORSEN your condition.

Medicaid, a GOVERNMENT department, is a known practitioner of this tactic. You must FIGHT with their paper pushers to provide them the exact legalese language they demand in order to "pre-certify" access to the "right stuff." This oversteps authority, legal practice and goes right above the heads of doctors trying to do right by their patients. Who's the professional in health care? The neurologist who specializes in sleep disorder pathology and neurology or some minimum wage keyboard monkey shuffling pages in their "excuses for not providing what is asked" binder?

Insurance providers will proffer STIMULANTS to "keep you going in the day time," treating the symptoms (badly, and worsening the underlying condition) instead of allowing access to the medications that will deal with the CAUSE.

Citation 1 HERE demonstrating the use of stimulants.
Citation 2 HERE demonstrating the truth. Note this definition:

"Stimulant:

A substance that makes a person feel more energetic or awake. A stimulant may increase organ activity in the body."

Adderal, Ritalin (amphetamines), Provigil and other common "medications" for "daytime sleepiness" ARE STIMULANTS.

As mentioned before, I suffer insomnia too. Imagine what VictoryGrey said about Jace's memory playback to Mike in the "Trash [EDITED]" posting... do you suffer that? If so, you should be outraged enough to fight for your life. Are you? Can you? Are you too disabled to fight for your rights? Who will?

NO ONE.

Certainly not NORD. See Jace's correspondence to them HERE.

Some people, isolated by a society that thinks "it's all in your head," without legal or government support, may make complaints now and then, but they fall on deaf and willfully ignorant ears. It accomplishes nothing for themselves or anyone else. There is no "movement" or "class action lawsuit" where both ought be. Where is SOCIETY?

Managed Heathcare is just more of the sociopathic antisociety that Amerikans embrace via ignorance, complicity and the attitude of "I can't do anything about it." There is certainly a small amount of outrage that gets patted on the head in the media, but as a "Nation," there is no community support to help those in need. Those roads are blocked by government red tape and corporate greed and dismissiveness.

This is true for the topic of medication, homelessness, sexism, ageism, harassment, racism, neuroracism and more. This is not a "Nation." These are not "United" states. This is a land mass filled with antipathy, ignorance, greed, infighting and complicity. Even the few organizations who claim to fight for human rights are shamefully selective about who they select as their "glory fight," demonstrating just how wonderful they are. (insert inappropriate hand gesture here). ACLU, anyone? NOT INTERESTED.

Nothing will ever change for the better and this vile antisociety will continue plunging its roots into the dystopian soil it already grotesquely flourishes in.

Do you care?

Seems like you don't because Jace was at it for about four years (including while working) and I am still pulling my hair out today, scraping at my flesh nightly in agony of insomnia and parasomnias.

There's been no action. No outrage. No motion. There HAS been disinformation sponsored by your tax dollars (medicaid) and your reality television shows (the pharmaceutical commercials).

When does outrage become action? In this "Nation" of "me, myself and I," the answer is a depressingly likely "NEVER."

Congratulations.

Now I'm off to figure out what to do with my itching body, racing thoughts, aching muscles, irritability and the KNOWLEDGE in my head which will not help me get relief.

Sleep well. Or don't.

UPDATE: The company that makes Xyrem, owns the patent and works with the central pharmacy that distributes the medication AND the idiot organization called NORD is called Jazz Pharmaceuticals. Feel free to call and write your displeasure at how "heathcare" works in this antisociety.

With THEM, there is no enough.

THEIR messages take up space in all forms of media, distract drivers with billboards paper and electronic, show up on public transit vehicles, litter the sides of buildings and tunnels, are flown in the air by planes, and they spread virally via your social contacts. THEY then exclude anyone with a message that questions THEIR corporate agenda from using the same spaces, even if those individuals or organizations have the money to pay.

For right or wrong, the last bastion of those wishing to reach the mass public with messages of rebellion against the corporate status quo has often been graffiti. Now THEY graffiti too:

I'm sure this practice has been around for years, but this is the first time I've seen it.

Fucking gross. I can't even look down anymore.

Just stick it in my dreams and be done with it.

eating's over rated [EDITED]

i just spent my last 3 bucks of EBT on three small cans of vegetarian baked beans.
i put my coins together and have a total of $1.09.
how many days until SSD and EBT deposits?

people are dangerous.

so are the drugs they put me on. disAbilify made it almost impossible for me to function since starting it. i've been out of the house about three times. i suffered extreme exhaustion each time. i'm tapering off of it, but it's not fast enought to satisfy me. i have had to take the old Provigil along with it... to no effect i can tell.

[There are very few long term studies of the neurological and other physiological changes to the human body when subjected to psychiatric medications. There are many side-effects and warnings that the makers of the drugs must publish. Yet, the first thing done to people when they are put into the "Behavioral Health" wards at every hospital in the lehigh valley is giving them drugs. Anti-psychotics. Mood stabilizers. Anti-depressants. Drugs which keep people from being able to eat, sweat, stay awake, sleep, orgasm, tolerate sunlight or heat... drugs which INCREASE the likelihood of suicide attempts. These people are then treated like criminals, force fed poor quality fattening foods, forced to wander around the limited space available, with limited mental stimulus and barely space enough to exercise because they will be "punished" and marked-up for sleeping during the daytime, not leaving their rooms, not eating all of their food at each meal, refusing to take medications that make them feel ill or sick, not accepting the demands of doctors who treat patients like templates, or even being coerced or forcibly injected with medications or given electrocution of the brain as "healthcare." If you send your family member to the hospital, you may be doing them a horrible injustice and worsening their condition, especially if it is against their will.]

officially insane

i can't stand it. i don't belong and i'm sick of being told that i do (so long as i do this, that and the other thing).

mommy and daddy wont take the world away because they can't. but they sure put me in it. boy did they ever put me IN it. it was sink or swim ever since since age... whenever the YMCA pushed me into the pool.

i've asked for help from day one. if it wasn't in my words, it was in my eyes. or my hesitation. or my - sorry, i think i lost your attention. my sister told me to contact Oprah "because she helps people."

i followed the magical Google. they pay google for a list of main links to show up on the search result. one of them was "tell us your story." i clicked on that. the "company" is looking for families who need a life makeover. WTF? Los Angeles ONLY. WTFx2.

then i read the legalese at the bottom of the page; "Oprah" isn't a person. it's a business.

Oprah, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah & Friends, Make the Connection, Oprah's Book Club, Use Your Life, Live Your Best Life, Oprah's Favorite Things, Wildest Dreams with Oprah and Oprah Boutique are registered trademarks of Harpo, Inc. Harpo is a registered trademark of Harpo Productions, Inc. The Oprah Store, Oprah.com, Oprah's Big Give, The Big Give, Give Big or Go Home, America's Doctor, Expert Minutes, the "Oprah" signature and the "O" design are trademarks of Harpo, Inc., Oprah's Angel Network®, Angel Network, O Ambassadors and the corresponding "O" design are trademarks of Oprah's Angel Network. Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls is a trademark of The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy Foundation. O, The Oprah Magazine and O at Home are registered trademarks of Harpo Print, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

(no, i didn't make the text small; that's how it copied)

i don't know what "help" is. i don't know what "people" are. but now i know what i've been doing wrong all this time: i've been trying to BE a person... this "country" doesn't want people. just soldiers and things to sell. they don't even actually want consumers, ideally. just a government tax on the citizens so that they can have money for stuff to consume.

i'm sick of trying to be a good person. it doesn't work.

this IS the dystopia

Those of you waiting for the apocalypse or for dystopia to come knocking on your door are wearing peril-sensitive sunglasses; this IS the apocalypse. It's happening now. Every day. Every moment of each day.

We live in a "nation" divided almost in half:

• those that are intolerant racists/sexists/etc. and those who pretend not to be.
• people who do things for themselves only and those who pretend to care about others.
• them that never follow through on promises and them that come up with excuses not to.
• sociopaths that wear masks of normality and sociopaths becoming psychopaths.

We're coming towards a new "presidential voting" time where the ruling "party" that's been destroying family values (while talking about conserving them) are likely to remain in power during the next round because the "party" opposing them have chosen a woman and a non-white as their potential candidates. It almost seems designed to leave the sociopathic republic in power while being able to say "See!! SEE!!?? They're sexist racists!! How dare they do this to OUR country!"

It isn't "our country." This "country" belongs to corporations. This country belongs to the intellectually, emotionally and socially ignorant and inept. This country belongs to the complacent, the old, the cruel, the wealthy and the indifferent. This country is slowly passing on ownership to the children it has manufactured to be JUST LIKE THEIR PREDECESSORS!

This isn't even a country at war with itself. It's not fighting itself. It habitually behaves as its told and acts with response to stimuli. There's no revolution, no civil war, no dissent.

In this "country," people who know you the least are telling you who you are. People who know themselves the least are plugging their ears and burying their heads when they act with selfishness and anti-social behavior. In this "country," this collection of cranky and bitter sibling countries (wrongly referred to as "states"), we citizens are expected to not think. We're expected to not demand protection of our "rights" as they've been defined by those who withhold them.

We're not allowed to show the slightest bit of honest emotion.

We are expected to never get angry, regardless of the cause and reason.

This is the way the world ends, kids. Not with nook-yoo-lar bombs. The world ends, bit by bit, second by second, day by day as people remain complacent, learning how to have no rights and no property by decades of attrition. The world ends generation by generation as the elderly pass on their hate of the young and demand the same social foolishness that made them miserable and hateful.

This is the world ending, quietly, under the weight of your finger tips as you rant uselessly on a blog, under the weight of your ass as you watch television and are told what to think, under the weight of your complacent ignorance which terrorizes the few who think, feel and make active decisions.

This is YOUR world and you've made out of it what you have by doing NOTHING progressive or even ACTIVE.

As your world disintegrates under the weight of your selfishness, MY world is being retroactively aborted while shouting "Autism Awareness!" on billboards and bumper stickers. MY world is never to be. My world never had a chance and will never have a hope. MY world is the detritus that you leave behind for me and my mutant peers of unwealthy, disabled (by you), former middle-class losers that you have beaten and abused with your "this is just the way it is" and your "a lawyer costs [this] much in order to try fighting to protect your [god/state/federal] given rights."

Bend down, fall to your knees and pray to your gods that you may continue to reap all that you and your parents have sown until the day you die. Pray that you can hold on to the benefits of your complacency before those benefits are forgotten and history is rewritten by the corporate warriors, soldiers of legal fortune and mercenaries who's services can be retained for the right fees.

Pray that you don't live long enough to fight the battles my kind have already lost (winning lip service is an anti-victory). Pray that you die before you are held accountable by those who rewrite the rewritten history, looking to put blame anywhere but on the shoulders of the giants who dominate this corporate monster known as "The United States of America." Pray that you die before there is no more nation, or, gods forbid, blood is actually spilt en mass, by enough thousands of organized individuals for the term "civil war" to be suggested (and then tossed aside as the federal military fires upon the citizens which pay it to build weapons and provide it thrones to rule from).

Pray that you never have to live a life where the body is forced to live on after the will to live has been long since murdered.

Oh, you do that already. Those people are called the ignorant elderly and they entertain themselves by abusing disabled people.

THIS is the apocalypse. YOUR apocalyse. No zombies. No massive dollopse of ketchup. No invasions from aliens (terrestrial or non). Rarely a bomb or a bullet fired on "home soil..." it's such a damn shame letdown of an apocalypse, isn't it?

Damn you for what you've made of my world that never will be and my life that never was meant to be.

(excerpt) flickr: Racist and Homophobic, or Scamming?

UPDATE: this story has had good reading numbers at NowPublic. 600+ reads since posting it.

... i've been witness to paying flickr members abandoning their paid accounts to move on to other photo sharing communities after their complaints of harassment ... went 100% unhandled... i've a contact on flickr who was forced to move to a new account ... flickr staff has marked his account NIPSA. ...This contact ... had nothing offensive in public view... He was blocked, by my estimation, because he is gay and sometimes does photo shoots that involve men in situations of love and lust, trust and fear; the artistic expression of age old stories of the human condition. ...

... Why is a gay man's artistic expression censored? Is it because some insecure flickr staff member is uncomfortable seeing photos of two men expressing emotions via skin to skin contact? ...

Homophobia is racism just as much as the hate or discrimination of persons with different national origin or skin color is racism. ...

Now, a new censoring technique has been established: groups have had their administration settings modified ... without warning the group administrators ... members who's photostreams have been censored ... cannot add their images to a group. The only way this can be changed is if the group changes their settings to allow "restricted" content. ... the group is then AUTOMATICALLY changed to an 18+ group and is made invisible to the public.

This has directly affected me in a most offensive manner: i am no longer able to share my personal self documentation of my autism research with other members of flickr who have groups dedicated to ausitm and Asperger's Syndrome. These are groups of autistic persons and parents of autistic children. Many of my contacts and on-line associates/friends began contact with me because of my open sharing of my autistic life on flickr and the fact that they felt they had gained some new understanding that would help them with their children.

... The word "homophobia" carries a meaning and a weight. ... flickr is discriminating against me based on neuroracism. They are also negatively affecting the groups which have members who expressed appreciation for my contributions. ...

... i started hearing from contacts and friends about how their other contacts and friends have experienced similar discrimination (account blockage or deletion). Many members are edgy and afraid that some harmless upload will get their account deleted.

... Is this a scam? Is flickr crippling accounts just to push members into paying for another, new "pro" account subscription? That would be highly illegal. ...

read the whole thing here

references

the fuckers win again: nightmares, sleep seizures

all of the stress caused by the recent topics below lead me to hours of undrugged, exhausted sleep where i had nightmares unending, paralysis and seizure activity. my existence is torture and the blame goes to all of the various motherfuckers listed below this posting on into the last three years. when do i get my relief and my payback for suffering your fucking sociopathic society's abuse??

To: board.directors@covidien.com, investor.relations@covidien.com, wayde.mcmillan@covidien.com, cole.lannum@covidien.com, david.young@covidien.com, grants.administrator@covidien.com, "Spencer, Gina"
Date: May 30, 3:50am.

i just spent the last several hours suffering nightmares, not resting, and ending up with a sleep seizure because of the compounded stresses of having to deal with your lousy company and people like mr. joe doria for far too long.

your organization is sociopathic. it has no moral or ethical responsibility. it's all talk and will talk and lawyer its way out of any responsibility of any kind. corporate entities like covidien are a cruel joke and cancer on society itself.

stop claiming to care when all that really matters to your corporation is money and disclaiming all responsibility for its actions.

your company, and the rest of the abusers i've suffered my 32 years of autistic life owe me millions in compensation. instead, you just legalese and BS your way through everything.

law should put your business down permanently.
you should be ashamed from the highest levels to the bottom.

-jace cavacini
victim of abuse since childhood, soon to be dead from it.

force them to comply via embarassment

This is a follow-up to the previous blog entry...

Today i received three emails in response to my mass mailing. First, chronologically, was from the hospital. A technician informed me that they changed their software and could provide me with a CD with my raw data on it (like i had asked, over a year ago, but was told this was not possible). the second email, chronologically, was from Joe Doria at Covidien. i wont even attempt to describe. just read it below:

Jace,

As I have always said, the issue of patient data, and viewing patient data is between you and the Sleep Lab.

I have copied JoBeth at the lab, and she will be contacting you directly. I understand that they have offered to have you come into the sleep lab to review the record with the staff but you have not done so.

I would appreciate it if you dealt directly with your doctor, and with the sleep lab in the future for any requests which pertain to your confidential patient information.

Respectfully,

Joe Doria

i replied with the following:

"Respectfully??" Not even close, Mr. Doria. Even in your last email, you STILL refused to answer the same damn question i've asked sensibly and politely for over a year.

Jobeth emailed me prior to your email. She informed me that the software they have at this time allows me to take my data home on a CD for viewing on my own computer. Things apparently changed since the original test, but because YOU were uncooperative and refused to answer my very simple question about the software, and because you refused to facilitate understanding of your company's product between both parties, NOTHING was accomplished for over a year. YOU were contacted to determine if there was a technical limitation or a misunderstanding by the technicians at the hospital. You were not contacted to deal with "confidential patient information." That's patently absurd. You simply refused to cooperate for whatever reason (i can only imagine; laziness, sociopathy, apathy, disinterest...).

Unprofessional and unkind.

Don't claim to sympathize. i don't want your last minute hollow words of customer service. Don't give me the passive-aggressive argument that i "refused to go in to the doctor office to review my data." This is nonsense. There is no basis in fact for such nonsense because it is completely outside the context of my inquiry. You would know that if you comprehended my request from day one (or 20). i can only assume it's an attitude problem on your part; if you had taken a few minutes to actually deal with my very specific inquiry, this would have probably been finished a year ago.

There is no reason why i should have had to send a mass email throughout Covidien just to get this resolved. This was my last resort after dealing with a year of deadlocked stonewalling from you. Your handling of this has been unprofessional and rude and you've clearly been forced to take the action you should have taken previously.

You've clearly demonstrated an incapacity to empathize with the feelings and emotions of other human beings and such a personality has no sense of ever doing wrong. You don't belong in a position relating to the handling of technology for human health care. Unless you're going to admit your wrongdoing and apologize, just stay silent from this point on. There's clearly nothing you can (or will) do for me and this is my final message to you. Hopefully someone of authority over you has now noticed your lack of customer service and communication skills. It didn't have to go down this way. This is your doing. It doesn't take an autistic genius to figure that out.

-jace cavacini

i copied this to the kind person at the hospital and to the person who sent me the third message, chronologically: a person responding to my complaint of ethical concerns to the Covidien Board of Directors. i explained to her that her message demonstrated that she did not read the actual email exchange between myself and Doria because she quoted the same irrellivent nonsense Doria did (that i was asking them to provide my "confidential patient information."

How do these people even get EMPLOYMENT when they have such poor reading comprehension and why the HELL am i the one who lost my employment when incompetent people like Joe Doria are able to work for multi-billion-dollar corporations in HEALTH CARE??

Below is the exchange between myself and Gina Spencer of Covidien:

From: jace
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2008 4:40 AM
To: #Grants Administrator; Young, David; Lannum, Cole; McMillan, Wayde; #Covidien Investor Relations; #Covidien Board of Directors
Subject: [Fwd: Re: Thank you for responding, but i still need some confirmation: Re: FW: at least have the decency to RESPOND THIS TIME]

Please examine this communication exchange and tell me if Joe Doria is behaving in the way that your company thinks is "Socially Responsible," "compassionate," and "accountable" (among other self-congratulatory terms)...

i notice that your "socially responsible" and "accountable" board of directors and management have self-congratulatory bios, but not a single contact method (phone or email).

also, i still need a direct and relevant answer to my very important question.
--------

Spencer's reply (she was not one of the addressed):

Dear Mr. Cavacini:

I am in receipt of your e-mail dated May 29, 2008, to the Covidien Board of Directors. This is indeed the correct contact method to notify the Board of Directors and Senior Management of any ethical concerns.

Regarding your message to Mr. Doria and subsequently to the Board of Directors (et. al.), Covidien is the manufacturer of the Sandman equipment, but we do not have access to patient data. It would be inappropriate for us obtain your data from the lab to fulfill your request because there are laws that govern patient privacy, and we will not violate those laws.

I believe Mr. Doria has arranged for the sleep lab to help fulfill your request. It is my understanding that Mr. Doria has arranged with JoBeth Newhard of the LHV Sleep Disorders Center to provide you with your data in a portable format. I was forwarded a copy of an e-mail sent to you on May 29th from Ms. Newhard that outlines how you may take advantage of this opportunity.

I believe this settles your matter in a positive manner, which is hopefully acceptable to you. Good luck with your pursuit of this matter and, of course, your health.

Sincerely,

Gina Spencer
Ombudsman

Please note new E-Mail address: gina.spencer@covidien.com

That's right, folks... these people have employment and comfort while i have disability checks that don't cover my living expenses after sociopathic people (such as will jefferson and sharon picus at Kutztown University and these Covidien people) ruined my ability to function via passive-aggressive harassment, abuse and illegal behavior. Yes. jace loses. The disabled person loses to the privileged people.

Fucking spectacular.

As i asked previously: when did this become acceptable business practice? This nation is going down the toilet because passive-aggressive people win.

Don't let them. This is YOUR FUCKING COUNTRY.

malicious compliance and corporate america

i've spent months trying to get a simple answer to a simple question. the PDF linked below is my email exchange with a representative of the makers of the Sandman product used by sleep study centers like the one i went to for my own sleep studies. i want access to the raw data. the hospital techs tell me it's not possible. i asked the Sandman people if this was a fact or if there was a way i could view my raw data. the first time, i emailed a ton of addresses to try getting a response since there was no direct contact info. i received no response. a Mr. Joe Doria replied to my angry email about being ignored. i returned to being polite, patient and professional. i got a runaround. repeatedly i asked and reworded my question for clarity. i got a runaround.

read for yourself.

Joe Doria - Corporate Conduct - Covidien and Sandman Owners.pdf

i've forwarded this exchange to as many Covidien email addresses i could find. i wonder if it will piss off enough people to get me a response.

all i wanted was a direct answer to a direct question. i want help to save my life and improve my quality of living. but these monstrous "heathcare" corporations are not interested in the health and wellbeing of human beings. look at their websites and see what their claims are and compare that to the actual CONTENT of the website... stock prices. investor relations. this isn't healthcare. it is corporate greed hijacking terms such as "social responsibility", "compassion", "accountability", and "collaboration." Hey, where is the collaboration with the patients (the human beings) who are being treated with your products??

the image below is from http://covidian.com

the customer is always owned

when you buy things in "the real world," you have rights.

when you buy things in "the computer world," you have nothing.

"Gift of Flickr" Terms & Conditions

just go to this location, read and comprehend. it is an "agreement" between you and the companies involved. do you really agree to these terms? would you accept them when buying a washer or dryer? a car? food? books? phones? something for your mother or your child?

and fuck the rest of you [EDITED]

While i'm at it, fuck you tinawhore, pretentious and arrogant kristin, jana-brat, judy-sociopath, dana-sociopath, lynette-borderliner, john-arrogantfuck married to arrogant-fuck-tammy. fuck my family for never listening to me, fucking ever, child or adult. fuck my "friend and boss" will-fucking-sociopath-jefferson, fuck the evil HR director sharon-fucking-sociopath-picus at KU, the entire kutztown university board, my other sociopathic and immoral employers such as NCC, buckeye pipeline company and daytimers ... and all you fuckers who treated me like shit in grade school for nearly 10 years. fuck you to all the "teachers," the friends who didn't do shit for me but but demanded i do for them, that i change to suit them. fuck you to the arrogant, fucking ignorant doctors, hospitals, psychiatrists, counselors (hello bradly and mr. never have anything to say after weeks of me talk talk talking and EDUCATING YOUR IGNORANT ASS [Dr. Nathan Wagner]), fuck the worthless, addicting medications and the motherfucking companies which made them for profit only. fuck you, john and tammy, for getting me started on fucking medication that doesn't do fucking shit but make me a fucking junkie. fuck you to the organizations that claim to be there for people like me. autism groups, autism activism, autism FOR CHILDREN. FUCK YOUR CHILDREN. i was a child once, you know? WHAT THE FUCK DID I GET? FUCKING ABUSE! "bad attitude" "misbehavior" "doesn't live up to his potential" "talks in class" "doesn't participate" WELL FUCK YOU, SALISBURY SCHOOL SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!

fuck you to america, the shining shit of ignorance. fuck the medical industry that believes AS only exists in children. fuck you to the worthless lies of the "US Constitution" ... the fucking useless united states of fucking america. FUCK THIS COUNTRY AND ITS LIES. racist, money-worshipping, whores of god. "for god you crawl over the bodies of the dead and in [the name of] god you murder."

i still can't get any of you out of my blood because i REMEMBER and i KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE. blame me, the fucking retard WHO SEES WHAT YOU REALLY ARE, YOU COMPLACENT AND SELFISH FUCKS. yes, call me the autistic retard who can't be normal like you selfish, apathetic fucks. put a fucking gun to my fucking brain stem and END ME NOW, you murderous fucking cunts.

hear me, you redneck "conservative" republican shitheads? COME KILL ME, YOU IGNORANT REDNECK RACIST GOD FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUR GODS, FUCK YOUR BIBLES, FUCK YOUR JESUSES, FUCK ALL YOUR 2000+ YEARS OF POLITICAL, RACIST, ABUSIVE BULLSHIT. WORSHIP YOUR PILES OF MONEY AND YOUR THRONES, SAFE AWAY FROM THE CRIME YOU CREATE, THE WARS YOU START, AND THE REALITY YOU CAN'T COMPREHEND. WORSHIP YOUR SHIT. WORSHIP YOUR STOCKS, YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS, YOUR BACKBITING. WORSHIP YOUR SEMEN STAINED BIBLES. YOUR RIGHTIOUSNESS. YOUR POWER OVER OTHERS! YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITES OF THE HIGHEST POWER.

FUCK YOURSELVES TO DEATH AND GO TO THE GATES OF YOUR MASTURBATORY HEAVEN WHERE ONLY YOUR KIND ARE WELCOME TO BE FUCKED BY GOD AND HIS FUCKING WHOREY ANGELS! WORSHIP WORSHIP WORSHIP.

FUCK YOU, GREATEST OF ALL, FOR TREATING ME LIKE ALL THIS FUCKING DAMAGE IS MY OWN FUCKING FAULT!

a company is a group of persons...

...as such, they should conduct business the same way as they would conduct themselves face to face with other people.

they don't, by large.

the reason?

anonymity.

especially when beyond arm's length. over the phone. via the internet. whatever.

if they conducted themselves face to face as they conduct themselves with their customers in their safe anonymity, they would have no friends, lovers or social acceptance. they might even be assaulted or arrested.

companies are exempt from certain legal obligations that individual human beings are held accountable for. is that sensible to you? a company is a group of persons... not held accountable for many of their actions. is that fair?

as several independent contractors i've noted have said in public forums: "If I behaved that way to my customers, i'd be out of business. Fast."