that's all you get
too painful to read it, but, apparently,
not too painful for me to live it.
i'm punished for fighting and punished for trying to die,
even though my suicidal gestures have been only that,
... really.
what i do, never enough - what i've tolerated doesn't count.
my disability means nothing; i don't even have one, cunts.
i've nothing left to give because i've given it all,
yet i'm told to "give", "be", "do", "shut up"
"write a book", "he's manipulative"
faith, self love, trust in jesus
pray, masturbate, wish upon a falling star
humanity, just beasts
the world, nothing & nowhere
fuck, shit, piss.
pointless entry
pointless blog
in the end,
i get nothing,
so i'll give nothing.
Labels: abuse, autism, humans, lost, truth, women, you have no rights
posted by dysamoria at
9:55 PM
4 Comments:
If that happened to me, and in a
different way I think it has,
I would put a diaper on and
a Pooh and Tigger play jumper,
and make a giant mud puddle
in my back yard, and give up
being growed up all together.
Not caring, not giving, just
thinking of me, playing in
the mud, having a great time,
playing.
Why should I care about the
"neighbours" or "other people"
think of me? I am just a little
boy, can't they see that?
Oh well, it does not matter,
I am happy playing and stuff
the nabers, I am not breaking
the law, I am being happy.
That is what I would do,
give up on everybody, live
for myself.
Block them out, live for myself.
My little 7 year old self in my
Pooh and Tigger shirt, in my
diapers, in the mud, happy
and playing.
Forget society.
Live for me.
i wish i could do what you do, Tigger
Do you always have to give to receive? Do you always receive and never give?
I guess the question is what do you make of it? Where do you go from here?
You don't have to care if others care (or not) about you, they don't have to care when you care about them. Its all relative.
Just be you, that's all anyone asks. Don't try and be anything for anyone, it doesn't work. Relax, heal, calm and collect your thoughts. You don't have to be anything or do anything except get better.(and really, if you don't want to even that can wait)
Just be Jacey, just be.
Hugs
Dee
If you were able, when would you do
what I do?
What would it make you feel like?
What would happen if you tiried to
do what I do?
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