Punish the Suicidal Instead of Helping Them
Instead of asking ourselves how we contributed to the choice of self termination (or how we complacently did nothing - how we maybe could have helped prevent it, as a society, in general), let's call them sick and selfish! Let us, in our arrogance and antipathy, rush them along to the end! (Joe calls this the "Feeding Frenzy: people don't kick people WHEN they're down, they kick them BECAUSE they're down.")
What if you have everything that makes you who you are taken from you?What if your every waking and sleeping moment is filled with memories of rejection, harassment, abuse, or never feeling allowed to just plain be a part of society? How fucking righteous would you really be when all you can remember is cold, heartless disinterest or outright cruelty? See what choices YOU make when you have only ONE left that offers relief.
But no, we don't accept suicide as an option. No sir, not in this nation. Suicide is selfish and stupid. Just like abortion is selfish and stupid. Just like being vegetarian is stupid and pointless.
Suicide isn't painless, but maybe more people need to LISTEN TO ACTUAL SUICIDAL PEOPLE; practice EMPATHY! Discover why suicide becomes hope for relief.
fuck it; people still don't even believe in Asperger's Syndrome. Comprehending suicide as freedom is even more difficult to grasp.
disturbed (a "short summary" of what disturbs me about this world)
http://dysamoria.com/blog/2007/12/disturbed.html
"Google" search "suicide" (go to "Read This First")
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=suicide&btnG=Google+Search
Here's a PERFECT excerpt from the above "Read This First" page:
"Start by considering this statement:1. My reduction of pain, or attempts thereof, have been to seek to understand people better so as to work with them better. i tried my damned hardest to harmonize at work with a sociopath who was impossible to please.“Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.”That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible." - © Copyright 1995-2006 Martha Ainsworth. All rights reserved.
2. My attempts at increasing my coping mechanisms have been through art and other solitary activities. These no longer work because the big issue is isolation and loneliness. So i have sought companionship (from females, in a romantic sense). Somehow, i manage to locate just the right people who say all the right things to me up front... and become someone else later. They blame ME for their changed attitude like the mason blames the stone.
UPDATE 2: from a comment on NowPublic by an editor:
jordan at 10:41 on July 10th, 2008
The Golden Gate Bridge has a suicide-prevention hotline phone on the city-side approach. Sometimes it's out of order!
Labels: abuse, arrogance, autism, choices, desires of suicide, exposure, fear, harassment, intimidation, neuroracism, shame, silence, the corporate states of america, you have no rights
posted by dysamoria at
10:04 AM
6 Comments:
Comprehending suicide as freedom is even more difficult to grasp.Says you...
Sigh, free to kill yourself, true freedom, depriving others of your knowledge, your spirit, your talent. Honestly I know that's what you think you want. But maybe I'm selfish, I don't want that for you. I've been there myself. I know its not the answer.
I know better than anyone what its like to be kicked out of society Jace, you know that. I can not change society. But... I can educate and inform and demonstrate, and in that education, advocacy occurs, and in that perhaps changes how someone is treated or seen or how a child is raised or how an adult can deal with his surroundings.
That maybe is my calling and why I am working with children with possible developmental disabilities and abuse situations.
I know that its hard for an autie to let go of something that you have racing in your head day and night. Its horrible, and near impossible to stop. But for your own sanity/safety you need to find someway of doing so. Scream stop, and change your enviroment, walk, leave run, exercise,cook, create, call someone etc. Perseveration on these kinds of excessive thoughts is never good.
If you can get this case in court and these people punished do you really think you are going to want to work in this place again? You do understand that once things like this occur they will make you miserable to the point that you will not be able to tolerate it even if you do return. (Despite all the no revenge etc rules)
All the ex's, yes they hurt, believe me I know. I know its hard to let go of love and hurt. You can't imagine the struggle/ mental conflict I had with my ex's death and the feelings and the hurt/relief I felt. Still struggling with it.But I have to let go and move on, 1 because I believe J is the best thing that has happened to me, and if I hadn't sufferred what I did, we (J and I) never would have met. I wouldn't have met you either.
I believe things happen for a reason. You must sit and discover what that reason is, and justify it in your mind so that its acceptable to you and no longer a haunting question you are rolling over and over in your mind. Despite your constant posts and emails, nothing that is said to them will bring them back to you unless they want to come back. And even if they did, would you really want that? Think about it seriously. Could you trust them ever again? Could you trust them to go to sleep and still be there in the morning? Could you know they would never cheat on you again, or lie to you, or emotionally black mail you? Wouldn't having these ladies back in your life be more cruel than them leaving? Could you stand next to them again, and know that they held the power to torture you again? Maybe I'm foolish, but I don't think so my friend.
You are fragile and traumatized and sleep deprived. These are things that are hard to combat. Cutting yourself off from your friends, old and and new is not the answer. Even if its only words here, we can still be a comfort to you if you would accept it. I'm sure your old friend didn't mean any harm. He only thought of getting you out and trying to help. Just as Traci tried to help. But as an autie, I know how difficult it is to leave the comfort zone and socialize,or deal with the outside world when al you want is to curl into a ball, or face actual sunlight instead of lighting. Sometimes you have to turn that voice off and just kick yourself out of the house. Make yourself go out with you camera, a least a couple of times a week. Take your sketchbook or your paints and find your inspiration outside your 4 walls. Outside, where you don't have to have those memories and constant reminders of what's happened before.
As far as you getting help/ treatment you need. Have you ever considered changing areas? Maybe applying for Section 8 housing and finding an area where you can get the meds you need? A new Dr. that could possibly help you? I know you love your house, and your kitties perhaps your parents could help you with them if you needed to move and resettle in. If that's not an option, maybe you need to change things around. ( I know that's difficult.) But it forces you to change perspective and look at the house in a different way. If you change it around,maybe you can get some new associations with it.
I don't want you to think of me as arrogant, or bossy, or whatever else could be crossing your mind. You know i only want to help, though I may not be good with it. You have helped me in the past, I want to return the favor my friend.
On April 27th, 1997 my father committed suicide. He left no note, nothing but questions from me. It still haunts me and I miss him so much. :( To this day I just wish I could talk to him one more time. Yes, he was in pain but I just wish he would have confided in me. I have been through hell and back with my depression and anxiety but I will not let it win. I don't want to be remembered that way. I don't want people to be sad after I am gone because I died in a horrific way.
Please don't let suicide win. I would miss your writings, you seem like a cool person. I wish there were more people like you around here, then maybe I would have more friends. I tend to isolate myself from the mainstream crowd because they judge me just as they do you. Don't let their little minds win.
If this is goodbye, then I hope that
where you go in the afterlife if
there is one, is a happy place where
you can run and play and be happy.
I will miss you because I think your
a nice boy and you understand me
better than Bob/Carole Normals do.
You got pooped on later in life than
I did, but still, we both got pooped on
in one way or another, the boogers
of society have been wiped on us
and they expect us to like it.
If you go, I will be sad, but I will
understand why, the Mean drove
you to do it, just like the Mean
makes me have reactions to those
who are mean to me, ie society,
mean people, and it makes me
have seizures and tantrums.
I am sorry to see a nice boy like
you go, I will mill you terribley
and I will cry, no its not because
your guilty of anything, it is my
reaction, I cry when cool people
die.
Good luck/fortune.
What happened to the newer post I commented on today? Did I write/say something wrong?
i didn't remove anything
msteeleart : tell it to "Stunned" and "Able" and all the rest. They don't like to be named because then someone might find out who or what they are. but they will beat me and beat me and beat me and beat me.
people don't leave notes because it's been long enough that they've said what is/was wrong and all they got was "Stunned" "Able" "Tammykat" brielle, dana, jana, john, jefferson, elise, etfuckingcetera for ages and forced "HELP" by "the system"
which JOHN put me into because mr professor john figured he'd go and fix everyone else since he got fixed up so nicely that he couldn't even be an actual friend or accept actual adult friendship from the guy he once labeled as "you're the best fucking friend i've ever had in my life!"
tell it to the mountains because we the unwilling living have heard it all and can't stand it any more.
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